Thank you such Selina for sharing your Positive Story with us.
[Trigger warning – contain: use of word contraction, third degree tear, mention of surgery]
…
I have been really inspired and drawn strength from the stories on this page and I’m excited to be finally able to share mine. It’s a long one
I was lucky enough to have a really straight forward pregnancy (getting there was another story) however because I had assisted conception I was under consultant care, which in reality just meant more regular scans. I was told at about 16 weeks that I would “have to” be induced because they “don’t like” IVF pregnancy to go over 40 weeks. At that time I just naively nodded along and didn’t question it. Initially the midwife appointments were done by phone and I was surprised at how little information you actually get about birth preparation, i.e. none (til the end when they ask you about birth plan which you would have got no support/guidance in creating). A colleague of mine spoke about feeling empowered during labour and “like a goddess” which was the first time I’d ever heard anyone talk about birth in those terms and I really wanted that for myself. This led me to reading the Positive Birth Book and then finding the Positive Birth Company and doing the online hypnobirthing course and boy what a revelation!! I also got my very skeptical hubby to watch it. I then read Why Induction Matters by Rachel Reed (all pregnant women should read this given the prevalence of induction in this country, lots of balanced and detailed non judgemental information much more than you will get from your hospital/ midwife). This gave me the confidence to question why an induction was necessary, which was eventually explained as due to an increased risk of still birth which may be to do with placenta degradation. Although the risk was still very small, and I didn’t really want an induction I knew my anxiety would get the better of me if I left it and ultimately accepted one for 39 weeks, however because of my reading I felt very well informed of the process. I was able to come to terms with that decision by reframing my thoughts to view it more positively. I am a hope for the best plan for the worst kind of person so I wrote my birth preferences specifically to each possible stage of induction and even included cesarean preferences.
Luckily I was able to work from home during lockdown and then for the rest of my pregnancy which enabled me to focus more on my wellbeing by doing yoga and positive affirmations every morning and going for walks most days. I really think this helped prepare me mentally and physically for the birth.
Given all the stories and information I had on inductions I was fully prepared for a long labour and being in hospital for days. I had my bag packed with loads of snacks, a tens machine, aroma therapy oils and a lovely room spray, none of which I used in the end!
I’m the day of my induction… I had a vaginal exam which showed my cervix was fully closed and posterior. Given that I was 39 weeks I totally expected this and wasn’t disheartened. I had the 24 hour pessary inserted at about 9am, after about half an hour I started getting regular mild back ache / period type cramps. I was on monitoring for about 30 minutes which the midwife extended for another half hour as she thought I might be over stimulated but ultimately she decided not. The contractions were quite low level and I just chatted to my partner, bounced on the ball all day. I was put back on monitoring again at about 4 and that was all fine. I did not have any vaginal exams offered so assumed it was unlikely that I had progresses to the 1cm needed to go to the next stage which would be artifical rupture of membrane. Luckily the covid restrictions had been recently relaxed so my husband was able to stay from 8am til 9pm, however he went about 8ish so he could get some dinner and feed our pets. Before he left I asked for some paracetamol as the tightenings were getting slightly more intense. I was able to breathe through them, so thinking that I was still some way off being able to progress to the next stage, I decided to try and get some sleep. By around midnight I hadn’t been able to sleep so I asked for some codeine, the midwife said she would get some but I would also need to go back on monitoring as I had asked for pain relief. While I waited for her to sort that out, I was laying on my side when I felt two pops inside me and then I had a really intense contraction. I wondered if it was my waters breaking but I wasn’t leaking any fluid, so I got up and went to the loo. There was a bit of blood and a slight trickle running down my leg. The contractions were stronger and more frequent now so I waddled over to the midwife and let her know. She came over with the codeine put me back on monitoring for another half hour which meant laying on my back, this definitely made the contractions feel worse however I continued with the up breathing to manage this. I also grabbed the poor midwife’s hand bless her she was lovely and encouraging, and commented on how good my breathing was. While I was on the bed my waters came gushing out full TV style puddle! The midwife asked to do an internal examination, which I consented to, and she told me I was 7cm and removed the pessary! She also said my contractions were 6 or 7 in 10 minutes, and told me to call my husband and get him back in. I called hubby (by now its 1.15am), but because the contractions were quite intense and close together, I could only manage to say between up breaths that I was being transferred to the labour ward. In hindsight I should have expressed the urgency a bit more, as he assumed I was only at 4cms.
At this point I had a little internal wobble, and I started thinking I can’t do this, I need more pain relief, which looking back I think was probably transition. But one of the affirmations (my surges cannot be stronger than me because they are me) popped into my head and I told myself to relax and visualised myself in my garden which calmed me down. I wanted to walk rather than go in a wheel chair to the labour ward because I was feeling that pushing need a poo sensation, so I waddled off slowly stopping a couple of times to have contractions along the way.
When I got to the birthing suite I asked for some gas and air, and was handed over to another midwife who asked about my birth preferences at which point I gestured towards my notes as I didn’t have capacity for a lot of conversation! The midwife asked how much longer my husband was likely to be, I explained that we didn’t live that far and he was probably just sorting out the cat food timer before he left (he was ). I was hooked up to a monitor again but this one was wireless so I was able to stay upright and sway with the contractions, which really helped. I felt my muscles begin to push, the midwife helped me get on the bed but kneeling upright, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to get on the bed as I felt like might squash the babies head. I had basically forgotten about down breathing but I found the up breathing was still helping me focus and keep calm. I found it easy to do up breathing using gas and air, and I think it probably made it more effective as I was taking slow deep breaths. My husband arrived just as I got on the bed, and I grabbed his hand, on the next push the midwife told me the babies head was out! I remember thinking “what?!” And then on the next push my beautiful son was born at 2.08am. The second stage of labour is recording on my hospital notes as 2 minutes !
I had active management to get the placenta out which was fine. I asked to see it and the midwife explained it to me which was fascinating (also totalling healthy and no sign of degradation).
We had skin to skin for about an hour, then I had to go into theatre as I had a third degree tear . I guess given the speed he came out it’s not that surprising I suppose! While I was in theatre my husband continued to have skin to skin for about another hour before they did all the checks and weighing etc. Hubby was able to come with me to the post natal ward and they said he could stay. However he made the mistake of going to the car to get the baby bag at 7.30am which coincided with the shift change. When he tried to come back in they wouldn’t let him, and told him he’d have to wait until visiting hours at 9am. Bloody covid restrictions
All the staff at the hospital were amazing, lovely and kind which added to my positive experience. The NHS is fantastic and we are so privileged to have it
